by Elyse | Feb 24 | Planning
‘I’m so busy’ has become the default answer when someone asks you how you are doing lately. And having a full life is a good thing. But, being so busy that you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or like you need more time to prioritize your health or the things vital to you is not an enjoyable experience.
These are some ways to reject busyness in your life.
Say No To Anything You Don’t Want To Do
You might feel busy because you agree to every request and invitation. You don’t need to respond with a yes to every invitation.
You might also be adding things to your to-do list that you feel you have to do that you don’t have to. This could be things like folding the laundry, buying a gift, or something else you think you should do but don’t have to.
Once you write down a to-do list, cross out anything you don’t want or need to do. There are a couple of things you could completely let go of, wait to do, or reframe how you think of the task.
Let’s say you don’t have to fold laundry today but want to have all your clothes put away before tomorrow. Just admitting to yourself that this is something you want and not something that you have to do or should do will make you feel different about the task.
Focus On Your Task At Hand
This is useful on the micro level of how you spend each minute of your day and the broader story of the focus of your life.
What is the primary thing you focus on each day? Do you have one over-arching goal for the direction of your life right now, or is your focus split in a million different directions?
When you are trying to accomplish many things simultaneously, it takes you longer to finish them. Pick one task, tune out the distractions around you, and finish it. Then, move on to your next job. You will move so much faster and get so much more done quickly when you operate in this way.
Stop Saying That You’re Busy
What you say out loud is essential to your brain, and your brain will go to work looking for evidence to prove what you say is true. The more you say you’re busy, the more evidence your brain will search for around you that will prove to you that it is true and the busier you will feel.
Instead, start saying that you have plenty of time for the task at hand or some other abundant belief about how much time you have that you believe. If that feels like too much of a stretch, then start asking your brain supportive questions like:
- How can I create more time in my life?
- How can I get more done in less time?
- How can I feel calmer?
Your brain will go to work to look for answers for you.
A Final Note
Busyness is a state of mind, and it is possible for you to feel less busy and less overwhelmed in your life. Start with these steps and see how much can change in a few weeks. If you try out one of these tips, let me know how it goes! I would love to hear from you!
by Elyse | Feb 17 | Leadership
Do you feel like no matter what success you have in your life, someone else always looks more put-together, more organized, has more clarity, and seems to have everything together? Do you ever wonder what they are doing day in and day out that leads them to have clarity, success, and organization? Career-driven women depend on daily habits to reach and maintain their success. So, what are the five practices of successful career-driven women?
1. They don’t believe everything they think.
Humans have tens of thousands of thoughts per day, and only some thoughts are helpful or even accurate. Knowing that you don’t have to believe your thoughts, primarily if it is not serving you, you can direct your thoughts to be more helpful in creating success. To see more about this, check out the blog post, Asking Better Questions.
Click here for the free guide, 3 Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed at Work.
2. They ask for help.
Successful women are fearless in asking for help and seeking out coaches or mentors when needed. Having someone you can go to when dealing with a challenge or self-doubt can be priceless. By having someone else look at the problem differently, they can help you see new solutions or guide you through it.
3. Successful women lead themselves.
They know where they are going and don’t wait for other people to start. They permit themselves to pursue their goals and dreams. They take responsibility for their lives and lead themselves through their challenges and struggles. They look to themselves first to answer problems. They take action and don’t make failures mean anything about their worth.
4. They are optimistic.
Successful women know they will get farther with an optimistic mindset than a negative one. They think highly of other people and avoid gossip, and they think well of other people and also think well of others. This thinking makes them collaborative, and they can quickly move their projects along. People enjoy working with them, and they enjoy others.
5. Successful women are continually improving themselves.
They are constantly growing and challenging themselves. They know they don’t know everything and are always looking to improve. They are open to learning new skills and having a beginner’s mind. They are fearless in investing in themselves and their education and know there is always more for them to learn.
A Final Note
Every practice that a successful, career-driven woman does is available to you today. You can start practicing these habits and mindset shifts and seeing results in your life in no time. Pick one to try out, commit to it for at least three weeks, and see how much changes for you.
by Elyse | Feb 9 | Leadership
The better the questions you ask yourself, the better results you’ll get in your life.
Your brain is a problem-solving machine. If you give it a problem, it will work to find an answer to the problem posed.
This is why the questions you ask your brain are so important, and it gives your brain focus and direction. This focus and demand are what your brain perceives as essential to you, so it will start looking for and finding evidence of whatever questions you ask.
In a way, it acts like Google. Your search for something, and it WILL find an answer for you. The most common way people use this against themselves is by asking themselves and their brains the wrong questions.
If you ask your brain a question, it will answer. So, if you request your brain;
Why am I so broke?
Why does nothing ever go my way?
Why am I always passed over for a promotion?
Your brain will search and start looking for more evidence for those questions, and it will then reinforce these conditions in your life. But you can also use this brain functionality for your benefit. Like asking your brain, how can I be less overwhelmed at work?
Click here for the free guide: 3 Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed at Work.
The Benefits of Asking Better Questions
One of the first ways that asking better questions will benefit you is that your brain will start searching for and noticing opportunities for you. It can help lead you to better results.
Better questions can also help direct your brain to notice more of the positives and the negatives, which can improve your mood.
You can put your brain to use and use it to solve problems that exist for you by asking better questions instead of unhelpful questions about the issue.
Asking better questions and asking the brain questions you want to know the answer to can help direct your brain to a specific target so you spend less time thinking about unproductive or worrisome thoughts.
Tips for Success in Asking Better Questions
Frame your questions in a positive. Your brain will answer the questions you give it, so if you ask it negative questions, it will find answers.
Why am I so broke? can be changed to where are there opportunities for me to make more money?
Why does this always happen to me? can be changed to where are things going well for me right now?
Why am I always passed over? can be framed more positively by asking how can I get a promotion this year?
Ask questions that you want the answer to. This helps give some emotion to your questions which will help your brain deem finding the answer as essential, and the desire to get a solution will help you stay focused and committed to your question.
Ask the question you want the answer to repeat until you get the answer. Keep asking your brain your question repeatedly until it gives you an answer. Sticking with one question will help your brain stay focused on getting the solution instead of starting down multiple paths but never getting to the end of a course.
What to Do If You’re Struggling
- Continue repeating just one question over and over to yourself every day until your brain gives you an answer
- Try getting your brain to answer your question through free writing. Write your question at the top of a blank page and see what comes to you through writing.
- Be clear on if you want the answer to your question. If there is some upside to your brain not giving you a response, consider why that might be.
- Follow your nudges. The answer may not come to you in an obvious way, and it might feel more like a slight nudge.
Better Questions
You can direct your brain to work for you. You can ask your brain better questions, and it will find answers for you. It will also help you find more evidence to support more supportive beliefs and have you notice things that will help you.
A way to frame the questions above to better questions would be:
How can I quickly make more money?
Where are things going well in my life right now?
How can something in my life go even better?
What can I do to get a promotion?
Your brain will work to find the answer by asking questions like these.
If you have a goal in mind, you can continuously ask yourself how you can reach it, and your mind will come up with answers and solutions. Your mind can also help you discover something. So if you are not sure what you want, you can ask your brain a question like, what is available for me to do as a career that will make my life more fulfilling?
Your brain will then search until it finds an answer for you.
by Elyse | Jan 23 | Leadership
Here is a list of the 13 best leadership tips.
- Be an active listener. Being an active listener means fully listening to the other person and not thinking about what you will say next. It also means repeating what you heard them say back to them to ensure that you heard them correctly and that the two of you are talking about the same thing.
- Show empathy for those around you. As a leader, there will be times when you have to deliver hard news or critical feedback, and it is during these times that others will be looking to you for guidance. Showing empathy for the people around you and what they are going through will help you connect to them more and be seen as a fair and reasonable leader.
- Always conduct yourself with class. Just because you are in a position of power doesn’t mean you have free reign to disrespect others. Class is one of the most critical elements of outstanding leadership.
- Set aside time on your schedule to focus on your essential tasks. You will have more responsibilities, meetings, and people wanting more from you. You need to block time off for when you can focus and finish your important projects.
- Communicate clearly. Say what you mean and mean what you say. How you communicate will be one of the most important things you do as a leader. You want to ensure that you are clear in communicating expectations, visions, and priorities to those around you.
- Stay away from gossip. Someone who is a leader should not gossip about those around them; it looks unprofessional and could lead to negative feelings if those you talk about find out.
- Make sure to attend meetings and be on time. This should be obvious but needs to be clarified. If you have a meeting with someone, show up to the meeting on time. Try not to cancel or be late to your appointments; if you are, communicate that as soon as possible.
- Be slow to change your decisions. People want a leader who knows where they are going. Constantly changing your mind confuses people and makes you look like you don’t have a vision for the future. Be thoughtful with your decisions but not to the detriment of moving forward.
- Be open and willing to learn new things. Technologies change, platforms change, and there will never be a time when you have mastered everything there is to master, and you will continue to move forward with each change by learning new things.
- Don’t be emotionally reactive to situations. Take a pause. Try to step back and see the case for what it is. Refrain from making decisions from this place. Try to separate your choices from the emotions that you are feeling at the moment.
- Be accepting that change is always happening. Adopting the mantra “change is good” will help you feel better when change inevitably happens,
- Have a precise separation between your work and personal life. Keeping your personal life separate from your work life will help you have better boundaries around your time and availability and give you space to focus on your hobbies, family, friends, and other things outside of work.
- Manage your mind. By managing your thoughts and feelings, you will be able to think more clearly and strategically, make better decisions, and have less emotional reactivity. Calming your mind is one of the most important things you can do as a leader.
by Elyse | Jan 17 | Planning
Some people like planning out full years, but the most effective people plan out in quarters. Let’s go over how the plan your next quarter.
Why is planning important?
- Planning lets you work out mistakes on paper ahead of time instead of in real-time
- Planning helps by saving time
- Planning also helps keep you focused and set in the direction of your biggest goals instead of being distracted by things that keep you busy or things that come up that are urgent yet not important
Plan for a quarter, not for an entire year
Since plans typically build on top of each other, planning for an entire year can be a waste of time. This is because so much can change over the year. So, the things you planned at the beginning of the year to complete at the end of the year may not be feasible or even what you want to do because of so many changes.
This is why it is better to plan quarterly than to plan yearly.
A quarter is also a small amount of time, so it is easy to stay focused and committed and then review and renew your plan with each new quarter. Ninety days is a lot less daunting than three hundred sixty days.
It is also an amount of time that is easier to grasp, making it easier to plan. A quarter can be broken into monthly and weekly chunks and is a more manageable amount of time to progress than an entire year.
How To Plan Your Next Quarter
There are vital steps to planning your next quarter. The steps are:
- Know where you want to go (long-term vision)
- Know where you are
- Decide what you want to accomplish in this quarter
- Write down your key results (how you will reach your primary objective of the quarter)
- Make a massive action list
- Put the actions on your calendar
- Determine lead and lag indicators
- Review and analyze
Know Where You Want To Go
Before you decide on goals you want to accomplish this quarter, you must determine your big, overall vision. The best way to do this is to think about where you want to be three years into the future.
Think about what you must do to accomplish your three-year vision. Now, think about something you can do now that you can achieve in a quarter that will help you get closer to your three-year vision.
You want to spend time on a goal only if it is aligned with where you want to be in your future. That is why this step is essential.
Know Where You Are
The next step is to figure out where you are right now. It will be hard to get to where you want to go if you don’t know where you are starting from.
The best way to know where you are right now is to get as close to the facts as possible. If your goal is to lose weight, you want to know exactly how much you weigh now. If your goal is to close $10,000 in sales, you need to know precisely how many dollars you are at now.
Try to keep all emotions and descript words out when determining where you are. Be as specific as possible.
Decide your primary objective for the quarter.
This is the big, over-arching goal of the quarter. Try only to pick one.
That way you can really put all your focus, attention and energy into it. If you are struggling to pick one ask yourself, which one, if I accomplish it, will help me achieve the other goals that I have?
Set Key Results
Then, figure out what are the key results. This is the how of accomplishing your primary objective for the quarter. If you achieve these results, you will have accomplished your main objective. Make sure that your list of key results are things that will make the most significant difference and not just things that will keep you busy.
Massive Action List
Now you are going to create a massive action list. This is where you want to think of absolutely everything that you need to do.
Under each key result, write down a massive action list of everything you need to do to achieve each key result. Try to add even more when you think you are done with your list. You want this list to be all-encompassing. So remember to put things on it like any research you will need to do to move forward or decisions that you will have to make.
The purpose of this list is that if you did absolutely everything on it, you would be guaranteed to reach your key results.
Put the actions on your calendar
Now, take some time and organize your massive action list. Cut out anything that is not essential or that you just don’t want to do.
Then, prioritize your massive action list into what is most important and what steps need to come first. Once you’ve done that, put the results you are planning to produce onto your calendar.
Set your lead and lag indicators
This is something I learned from the book, The 12 Week Year. In the book, the author talks about lead and lag indicators.
It is beneficial to measure your success of how well you are following your plan with lead indicators those are things you can directly control.
Lag indicators on the other hand only happen later.
An example of this is weight lost. The number of pounds of weight lost is a lag indicator since it doesn’t happen immediately. But, something like exercising four times a week for thirty minutes is a lead indicator since you can directly control that.
This is also true of sales. A lag indicator for sales would be how many dollars closed, while a lead indicator would be the number of outgoing sales call someone makes in a day. A lead indicator is you going first.
Set lead and lag indicators for your goals so you can measure the progress that you are making each week.
Review and Analyze
Each week, reflect back on the past week and review how well you did sticking to your plan. Check your calendar to see if you produced the results you had calendared on it and how well you did meeting your lead indicator goals.
Then, analyze what went well, what didn’t, what could be improved and what you want to try next.
